Steven's+Historical+Fiction+Piece!--An+Unlikely+Pharaoh

Steven

12/21/09

English Period 6/7
 * __An Unlikely Pharaoh__**

__Chapter 1__ I sighed. Once again, I had returned to puppy-hood. Liz was back on Earth. I decided to look over the river; small infants accessing the Sneaker Clause. Once I found a small baby that took up barely 1/5 of the basket, I backed up. This feisty little Chihuahua was going back to Earth. Running forwards, I jumped. “Aw, panda stomachs on a plane in Bismarck headed to Tallahassee on a scorching August morning!” I screeched in frustration, hoping no one had heard, I had missed; completely. I sunk into the bottom of the river, “Ugh,” I muttered softly, “I’m going to be in here for a while” See you can’t die in Elsewhere, because you already had died, then went to Elsewhere; so I sat with a blank expression on my face until stupidity officially left the building. I’m light, loud, and can float. This gave me an idea….or three. //__Paco’s Ideas Volume 1__// 1) Bark ‘til someone gets me out 2) Paddle my way up 3) Float I quickly decided to paddle until I remembered I wasn’t able to swim. Well, this leaves me to bark. “Grrrr,” I began. I see growling as sustained power, making your bark all the more powerful. I barked just so water could quickly fill my mouth Surprisingly, a man dressed in pink came up to me. He lifted me; thank God I was out of there. “Hey little guy,” he soothed. For the record, I’m not enticed, “What are you doing here, little dog?” “What are you doing wearing hot pink?” I snapped, louder than expected. “It’s a uniform, you’re welcome for saving you!” he wept; and soon marched away. //What a baby// I thought. Now I was on the closer edge of the baskets; I jumped successfully and was on my way home!

__Chapter 2__ I awoke. Weird, doesn’t look like Earth at all. I perked myself to the similar sound of crying. I turned to see people in heavy makeup, and dressed in linen. Now, just because I’m a dog doesn’t mean I’m any kind of stupid- these dudes were from Egypt; I **am** in Egypt. “I-it’s him!” a random women shouted, an overwhelming sensation of joy on her face. “The Pharaoh didn’t die; he’s embodying the form of a dog! It makes perfect sense!” another agreed. Didn’t make any sense to me. Suddenly, I was dragged into a room, dressed in an odd fashion, those similar to a ruler, and placed on a throne. “Wow, these people aren’t very intelligent, now are they?” I muttered for a second time, and again, hoping no one would hear. But, someone heard me. He turned, I waved, he shrugged, I wagged my tail, he left. A bunch of people in Chariots, donkeys, sledges, and even litters came up to me-odd. Slowly, they sat upright on their knees. As these maniacs went down, they lay both arms on the floor; singing to me. I was being told I was a god w/an extremely ‘difficult-to-pronounce’ name-I am 99.9999999% sure this is not me; the other .0000001% is if these dorks are telling the truth.

__Chapter 3__ As weeks past, I had less people praying and singing to me. I had absolutely, positively no clue what I was doing, or what was going on Soon enough, I hear a common farmer sprinting throughout the desert shouting, “He’s a lie! It’s Zeus; he isn’t doing anything any work b/c Greek gods are trying to ruin our establishment!” //Who is the “ZED-OOS” guy? What does he have to do with me?// See, if it’s one thing I’m learning about here in Egypt, it’s that these people agree on everything. I’m basing this opinion on the facts that I’m now being chased….joy. //__Paco’s Ideas Vol. 2__// 1) Let them kill you 2) Run! 3) Claim you love them “But….I love you guys,” I lied They weren’t enticed…in moments, I was assassinated

I returned to Elsewhere, and I felt like a total idiot. “Wow,” I said to myself, “ I just realized I was a puppy before; only 3 weeks, now I have to wait longer b/c I just died again and I’m 4 weeks…and I know what murder feels like; so much for aging backwards.”